Priscilla is here!

Baby girl born on 12 sept at Mount A. 38w+2. 2310g. Natural, no epi

Birth story:

- 5am feels like stomachache kinda pain. Thought it's hunger pains and woke up to eat biscuits

- after eating, couldn't go back to sleep so started timing each "hardening" and "stomachache"

- 6am: vaginal bleeding of fresh red blood like starting of period

- called the delivery suite at Mt A after an advice frm a mummy here (thank you!)

- told to come in since contractions are 5-7 mins apart

- 8am: went to the delivery suite and they check baby on the ctg monitor

-830am: did a dilation check and found out I was already 5cm dilated. Was told that I'll deliver in 2 hrs

- 1030am: still no labour but contractions come on and off; bearable 

- 11am: doc came in and told me that the blood test revealed that my platelet count is dropping and I have preeclampsia. Baby heartbeat pattern was also not ideal. So asked me to push hard and fast. Doc burst my waterbag and left the room for another patient

- Started pushing with each contraction upon the nurses assistance but I was scared to do so. Didn't push as hard as I could hv done so. I kept saying I want to pass motion and feel a lot of heat coming out (was told it's the water bag). Felt like crying and was given oxygen mask

- 1110am: doc came back and gave me local anesthesia (injection kind). She started giving me perineal massage (which she did it with a lot of strength). Then I pushed harder

- 1124am: baby was delivered! Doc told me if I do delayed clamping, I cannot donate to cord bank, and asked me to decide on the spot. I chose the former. Did skin to skin but the placenta took like forever to come out cos the cord was not cut

- finally when the cord was cut, the placenta came out and the stitching began

- had to use laughing gas for the stitching cos I felt very uncomfortable. I didn't like what I was feeling

End of delivery. Stayed at St Raphael's Ward, Room 361; big room and toilet. Minimum noise

Week 38

TWO more weeks now!

Week of 38 and Week of 39.

Fullstop.

Nowadays, I get a bit scared going to sleep at night, especially without Chris. I'm afraid labour will come at night. Not that it's any worse than coming in the daytime. But I'm just scared. Really scared.

Our thoughts of this entire pregnancy journey

Before the journey ends, I thought I should have a post on our thoughts on the journey. I asked Chris recently about it and here was his reply:

He said he felt more pressure and felt that everything came at one go. He wished he could settle things one at a time; first the job then the baby, then the house etc. So to him, it feels like everything came altogether. Doesn't sound too positive ):

This is my thoughts:

It has been quite a journey with these keywords: acceptance, overwhelmed, numb preparation, jitters, hindsight gratefulness

Acceptance. Because the pregnancy came at a time when I wanted to leave my job, it's really hard to accept this reality. I even thought I wouldn't be able to carry the baby through my work due to my work nature. I wasn't liking the pace, the heavy job scope and the language used. I had in mind an ideal situation where I would relax at home, read books, listen to music, cultivate a suitable environment for my foetus to grow and develop holistically; not in a working environment with much negativity in me. So, it took me much prayers and lamentation before I accept this news.

Overwhelmed. As I entered the journey, I realised it is sooooo different from that of planning a wedding! In planning a wedding, there are so many tips and advice, and there's a standard template or guide or flow that you can follow. But not so for a pregnancy journey. Information was all over the place and I can't seem to get a good guide on Step 1, do this, Step 2, do this. Or, at xx month, do this, at xx month, do that. I was overwhelmed by the vast amount of information that is available and need to absorb but can't. Things like what you can eat and can't eat (I can't take raw food, soft-boiled eggs, coffee, tea, soft-serve ice cream...sobs), what you can and cannot do etc, things to buy etc. And this leads me to my 3rd keyword...

Numb preparation. I added a word "numb" to describe the preparation because it feels like I'm just going through the motion.
Antenatal package, checked.
Supplements, checked.
Antenatal class, checked.
Post-natal massage lady, checked.
Confinement lady, checked.
Clothes, checked.
Shampoo and soap, checked.
Car seat, checked.
Cot, checked.
It just goes on and on, and it's like checking off a checklist rather than being excited and all coo-ey about each item. I was trying to get the best deals, second-hand deals, and trying to manage the expenses. It feels so task-oriented ):

Jitters. It comes at different stages. Because of the FB group I'm in, and each person's experience is different, I hear lots of stories. First, it was miscarriages. Then it was fibroids. Now, it's induction birth and various birth stories. Hearing the different stories make me scared that it would happen to me too. That's when the jitters come in. Thank God that I didn't have a miscarriage, I didn't have fibroids and the doctor has not suggested induction.

Hindsight gratefulness. As was written in my previous post, the thing I am most thankful for was the hospitalisation leave which gave me 2 months of no-work prior to the maternity leave. I believe that this is God answering my prayer, in a way, of having that bit of ideal, quiet, peaceful and spiritual preparation for baby. I thank God for that. Thank God for Le Jing that came my way again and had agreed to be my prayer partner through my labour. This is probably the most positive keyword to describe my journey. I hope to keep the positivity there even though the start had been rough.

Now, as I rub my tummy, I know that baby is safe and comfortable inside. She has been nice, not kicking me at night. Not sure if it's cos she's small, that's why I can't feel much. But I love her and want to love her and will do anything I can now to nurture her.

I pray for a positive and spiritual encounter with God during my labour itself.

My daily schedule

I wanted to write down my typical daily schedule nowadays:

8.30-9am: Wake up, tell Chris about my dream, say bye bye to him

9-10am: Wash-up & breakfast

10-11am: Quiet time + reading of a Bible passage to baby + reading a Christian book (my favourite time of the day)

11am-1pm: Swim / Nap / Play HP game / Access work email / Get on with my to-do list which can include accounts, reading of baby magazines etc

1-2.30pm: Lunch with either a TV programme (羋月传, Legend of Mi Yue) or a storybook (it feels good reading a book again!)

2.30-4pm: Nap (can't seem to fight off the z-monster every time)

4-4.30pm: Try to get up

4.30-7pm: Drink essence, take supplement, continue reading the Christian book, continue with my to-do list

7-8.30pm: Dinner

Night: Couple time with Chris

Ohhh...I'm so loving this schedule and relaxed time! 

Thank God!

Any time now

It's pretty scary thinking it's anytime now. It's like I can feel the contractions can come any time now. Unknown. No heads up. And I need to observe from then on. 

As I rubbed my tummy, it's a surreal feeling that something, someone, is inside of me, and it's coming out soon. It feels just like yesterday that I was a little girl with all my quirky, naughty, mischievous ways. It feels like yesterday that I had a flat tummy. I never thought I would be able to carry this baby this far. I thought I wouldn't reach this far. I can't believe I'm entering a next stage of life and I will be taking on a new role.

It feels like any time now, I would be in labour, delivering. And I don't know how my delivery will be like. It feels scary and unknown.

Any time now. Even as I feel my tummy hardening.